Since A Tale of Two Cities, the 1859 novel by Charles Dickens, is in the public domain, we borrowed the title for this post.
Unlike the novel, which takes place in London and Paris, our story takes place in Baked, Alaska. We called Albert Murfwhiffle, the municipal risk manager for the city of Baked, after hearing about a snow-plowing accident that resulted in multiple claims. We recorded the conversation, then sent the recoding out for transcription because we didn’t think anyone would believe what happened.
This version of the transcript has been edited for brevity and clarity. Al is represented as AM. We’re represented as CE (claims expert, of course):
CE: Good morning Mr. Murwhiffle. Do you have a few minutes to speak with us.
AM: Well, I guess I can spare a few. I gotta get over to the hospital to see Clem. He was in an accident with one o’ them snowplows, ya know.
CE: Yes. We heard about that. We weren’t able to get all the details. So, we thought we’d call and ask you about it.
AM: Yeah. Clem never seen that moose.
AM: Yep. The durn thin’ jumped right up on the hood o’ Clem’s truck and did some kind of Merengue or somethin’.
CE: The moose was dancing on the hood?
AM: Right before he poked Clem in the eye with an antler, he was. Busted the windshield right out.
CE: Is Clem alright?
AM: He’s a little banged up, but he’ll be okay. His truck is totaled, though.
AM: Right you are. With only one good eye, he couldn’t see past the moose on the hood, and he drove off a bridge.
CE: And he’s only a little banged up?
AM: He was lucky. His airbag deployed, and he was wearing 10 pairs o’ long johns. Cushioned the impact pretty good.
CE: That sounds like a property damage claim, a personal injury claim, and a veterinary claim.
AM: ‘At’s about right.
CE: How are you managing all that?
AM: Mildred in my office has it all diagrammed out on a BOC.
AM: A big ol’ chart. Right there on the wall, ya know.
CE: Have you ever heard of Cloud Claims?
AM: Is that anything like weather insurance? We could sure use some ‘o that with all the snow up here.
CE: No. It’s an incident-based claims system that would let Mildred track and manage every claim related to Clem’s accident with her keyboard.
AM: No more BOC?
CE: No more BOC.
AM: Where do I sign?
All’s Well …
We’re happy to report Baked, Alaska is now using Cloud Claims. Clem’s out of the hospital. The insurance company replaced his truck. The city got rid of Mildred’s BOC. And the moose has refused to come out of the house since the accident.
Albert Murfwhiffle is now living in Freemish, Alaska, working for Mildred.